réflexions

Ahem.

I am good at planning and organising parties/surprises/events and all. But sadly these skills do not translate to my paperwork and computer drives. You should see the stacks of documents waiting to be file at my office, and how the sister would nag whenever she saw my MacBook desktop and how I (do not) categorise my files and folders as neatly as she does (her desktop has a maximum of 5 folders/files).

Now that school is over and behind me, and after burning lots of midnight oil the last week just to complete a big bulk of urgent work so that I don't have to bring them home, I figured it's high time to do something. I spent a whole day sifting through files on my MacBook, categorising them and putting them into folders - very painful.

So after many many butt-numbing hours, I managed to pool together about 80% of photos of my craft work. I'm attempting to put the photos up somewhere somehow, like an online portfolio of sorts. I must say the feelings experienced while going through the photos were really complicated. In the last 2 years alone, I've made over 30 customised cards for various occasions on request, over 10 layouts (it's a feat for a non-'hardcore' scrapbooker/crafter ok!), customised gift tags for farewell gifts, and more than a handful of shadowboxes and altered items. Below are just a few:

Altered: Mirror | 8x8 Layouts in Shadowboxes (first one for a female recipient and the other a male expat) | Pole-Dancing Hello Kitty Mini Suitcase

Custom Shape Cards: Coca-Cola-themed Hand-cut Card/Mini Album with DIY Keychain | Mickey-themed Birthday Invite | Golf-themed Card/Mini Album

Handmade Cards: Farewell Card for ex-colleague | Birthday Card (for a recipient who likes bright colours) | Friendship Card

I've also challenged myself to my limits this year accepting to do up the decor for a good friend's wedding at CHIJMES (while 'doubling up' as the bridesmaid), decor plus customised guestbook, wedding contract giant shadowbox and candy buffet table for another friend's wedding, and also did a customised Mickey-themed chipboard album for my nephew. Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself by over-committing and stretching myself to the point that sometimes I have to go without sleep to get these projects done so that I can go about fulfilling my daytime obligations (note: work) as usual. But then again, when I see the results that I get from all the blood, sweat and tears, it always felt like it's worth all the sleep loss.

Reception Decor for Mel & Ian's Wedding at CHIJMES

Customised Guestbook, Decor, and Childhood-themed Candy Buffet Table for QZ & JG's Wedding at Amara Sanctuary

Mickey-themed Birthday Party Guestbook Chipboard Album
(I'll share the pages inside another time)

They say, DO WHAT YOU LIKE & LIKE WHAT YOU DO.

I do not like my daytime obligations. While I don't hate my day job, I do wish that I'm doing something that is ME. Something that allows me to be creative, to put my experiences in events to good use. People tell me that I am creative and have what it takes to do these crafty stuff full-time. But I don't know how my passion and 'hobby' (as the BF would like to call it) will pay me enough to foot my bills and expenses (note: I don't even dare think of the words 'profits' or 'revenue'!)

That's why, when I looked at all the work I've produced which brought back all the fond memories of achieving them and receiving very positive feedback from the recipients, I felt a mix feelings of satisfaction, frustration, and dejection.

I want to do what I like. I want to pursue my dream of becoming a wedding/events planner and not care about how much I earn.
But I have a wedding and house to save up for. Sigh.

If I could turn back time, I would have taken other paths to get me to where my dreams are.
But I cannot. So looking forward, I hope my window of opportunity would come soon for me to do what I like. Because trying to like what I'm doing now is not working.

How now brown cow?